I used to call my mom every day after work. Most nights, we’d talk about the same things: what she made for dinner, what show she was watching, whether the neighbor’s dog was still barking at squirrels. It was a ritual that brought us both comfort. It also gave me a sense that everything was fine. Until one day, she didn’t answer. At first, I wasn’t worried. Maybe she was out back. Maybe the phone wasn’t charged. Maybe she fell asleep. Hours passed. I called again. Still nothing. By morning, panic had settled in.

The Wake-Up Call I Didn’t Want

My mom had fallen. She was alone for over 12 hours on the cold tile floor of her kitchen.

She didn’t want an ambulance. She didn’t want to go to the hospital. And she definitely didn’t want me making a “big deal” out of it. But as I helped her up and saw the bruises on her arm and the look in her eyes, I knew. This was a big deal.

Everything changed that day.

The Truth I Hadn’t Wanted to See

Looking back, the signs had been there:

• The bills that sat unpaid a little too long

• The dinner she “forgot” in the oven

• The neighbor who mentioned she seemed confused last week

I didn’t want to admit what it might mean. I told myself she was just aging normally. That everyone forgets things. That a little clutter wasn’t a crisis. But when someone you love is slipping, it’s easier to ignore the slow fade than confront what it could lead to.

That fall ripped the blinders off.

The Guilt That Followed

I beat myself up for weeks afterward.

Why didn’t I check on her more? Why didn’t I notice the decline sooner? Why did it take an emergency for me to act? The truth is, most adult children feel this way when the reality of caregiving smacks them in the face. We love our parents, but we’re not trained to see the slow unraveling of independence until something dramatic forces us to. And when that day comes, we scramble to figure it all out.

What I’d Tell You If You're Where I Was

If you're reading this and thinking, “That could be me,” please don’t wait for a crisis.

Have the conversation. Ask the harder questions. Visit in person, not just on the phone. Look beyond the surface and into the fridge, the bathroom cabinet, the mail pile. Because one day, the call might come, and everything will change. But you don’t have to be unprepared.

Let’s Help You Get Ahead of the Crisis

That moment with my mom changed the course of both our lives, but it also lit a fire in me to help others avoid what we went through. If you’re unsure what to look for, how to talk to your parent, or where to even begin planning, I’ve put together a free Senior Care Starter Kit to walk you through those first steps.

Or, if you need more personal support, you can book a Family Strategy Call with me to create a plan tailored to your family’s needs.

You don’t have to wait for everything to change before taking action. Let’s start now.

👉 Download the Senior Care Starter Kit👉 Book a Family Strategy Call

About the Author: Susan Myers is the founder of The Aging Society and a certified End-of-Life Doula with over 15 years of experience in senior living. She helps adult children navigate the complex world of aging care with clarity, compassion, and confidence.